“Damn ain’t it crazy when you love swept you would do anything for the one you love, ’cause anytime that you needed me I’d be there it’s like you were my favorite drug. You see the only problem is that you were using me in a different way that I was using you.”- Rihanna (Rehab)
There was this guy who I will nickname ‘Charm’, the name is very fitting for this man. You see, that was his way of capturing my attention…his charm was undeniable. We met when I was freshman in 2006 but we didn’t officially ‘date’ and I use that term very loosely until 2010.
I liked one of his friends (who is now a mutual friend of mine) but he wasn’t as outspoken or forward as ‘Charm’ was and I fell for the one who intrigued my mind and my other senses. We started off really slow, just hanging out with mutual friends but we progressed rather quickly since time wasn’t on my side. I was heading back to school to finish my undergrad program and I had only 3 weeks left for my summer break. Even though we lived an hour and some change away, he drove almost everyday to see me. There was no begging or coercion on my side and with that he had me hooked.
He fit all my criteria that I liked. He was 6’3, chocolate, handsome, fit, fun, adventurous, charming and got along with my mom. Not only would he come and visit me but he would entertain my mom and make her feel included whenever he came around. I appreciated that but there were some red flags that my mom saw that I didn’t.
I couldn’t understand why this guy was single, but leave it to my mother to see it before I did. It was my own fault not to heed the warning of my mother but I knew something she didn’t…or so I thought.
Let’s just say that everything my mom saw….I FINALLY saw 9 months later. He was not only a liar but he was so convincing in his ways. He could make me believe that the sky was purple and going against my own knowledge I would believe him. If it weren’t for my closest friend confirming my suspicion, this saga may have continued to who knows when. Many countless nights of worrying, endless BBM conversations that lead down another dim path, I realized that I was intoxicated with a concept.
I had the perfect guy aesthetically but he lacked something that is more important than all he had to offer. He lacked morals….values.
He was a guy that I had fun with, could be myself around….well, in private. You see, when we stepped out in public together minus our mutual friends there was a DRAMATIC shift. There was one instant that we went to a Christmas Party together and instead of taking me home we decided to go to a club. The whole time we were there, he totally disregarded that I came with him and fraternized with every one else. It wasn’t until my friend and her boyfriend came along and started dancing that he payed me any attention. SMH.
It took a lot more instances on both of our parts for me to finally call it quits. I can’t say that I was completely innocent in all of this because the 6 out of the 9 months I was dating someone else.
I ended up breaking things off with both guys and it was for the best.
“And I’ll never give myself to another the way I gave it to you. Don’t even recognize the ways you hurt me, do you? It’s gonna take a miracle to bring me back and you’re the one to blame.” – Rihanna (Rehab)
Have you ever been addicted to someone?