My Love Life….LOL If That’s What You Want to Call It

Last night I was laying in bed just listening to music like I usually do and this song started playing on my Pandora station.

If you don’t know who this artist is then you need to get acquainted with his artitstry. He is Frank Ocean and he has been out for awhile. The song that has kind of made him a household name (on YouTube at least) is his song, “Thinking About You” which has garnered covers from celebrity singers to amateurs alike.

There is nothing extra ordinary about this song but it made me realize that I don’t have this feeling about anyone that he is singing about.

Jealous much? Not sure. I know I can but I have trust issues.

Drake sang it best…….

There is no defining moment that came but rather I’m wary of other people behavior. I know that I can be quite indecisive but when someone else adds there  issues/insecurities/confusion/crazy into the mix it makes me step back and observe rather than test drive.

My little sister asked me a question last night that made me step back and think.

“Jennifer what happens when no man can fit this standard that you have created…what next?”

Not really answering the question, I mumbled some bullshit and changed subject.

What the hell am I really looking for??

One minute I want a relationship and want to be up under someone, than
another minute, I like my space and I like that I can just GO…no explanations needed.
My last relationship I wasn’t up under him enough. OK, let me switch it up. The next guy I dated thought I was too clingy, the one after that considered me too “cold” for his taste.  SMH. Where is the balance?

WTF!!!!

I know I don’t live in an ideal world, if I did, I would be presently in a loving relationship with Channing Tatum and planning our wedding as we speak. LOL.
But this is not fantasy, this is reality.
I decided that I will make a list of what I WANT. That means complete honesty, I have a tendency of lying to myself. lol. From that list, if a guy I’m dating lacks the major qualities that I want, he won’t even make it past a second date.
2012 is coming and with that, not only am I changing my physical but my mental as well!
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