Now that the holiday season is officially over, I have had time to look back and reminisce on my brief trip home for the holidays. If I were to rate my experience it would be a 9. It encompassed everything a great movie would have: Romance, check. Drama, check. Laughter, check. Great food, check. Girl talk, check.
I wished I had the chance to see everyone but the people that I saw made my trip worth wild. Some in more ways than others.
I knew coming back home would give me the opportunity to see ‘Charm’, (if you don’t know who he is check my previous post about him here ) and hang out with ‘C’(if you don’t know who he is either check out my post about him here)
I didn’t come home with any expectations but I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t curious to see how things would play out.
Hanging out with C was…hanging out with C. We had a good time, watched one of my favorite movies, Love Jones and enjoyed each others company. Nothing out of the norm. My feelings for him will be there but the momentum behind it has come to a complete halt and I’m okay with that.
But what caught me off guard was how I would feel when I saw Charm. I was nervous and unsure if there were any feelings left for him. How we ended was abrupt on my part and there were still unresolved issues that were there but I didn’t have the energy to deal with them…at the time.
Nothing like liking a guy only to hear some pretty bad things about him and what he is or is not doing. Well, there’s no turning back now and here we were sitting side by side. I felt as if my throat was drying up as I tried to hold back a smile, or was it a smirk. Not really sure but I felt a bit excited to see him.
I saw him Christmas night and I can tell you that Santa has a great sense of humor. We didn’t speak much at first but we were both very much aware of each others presence. Hours had passed as I drank and danced the night away. I wanted to leave but my body wanted to stay and linger in the awkward presence that had filled the room. After some awkward goodbyes, we decided that we would hang out.
As he pulled up to my house, I felt like it was the summer of 2010… where I would secretly watch him and smile as he approached my doorway.
Yea…. it was one of those days!
We briefly updated each other on what was going on in our lives and I couldn’t help but stare at the guy who had my full attention almost a year ago. It’s crazy what time can do to your emotions.
Was I still physically attracted to him….YES!
I told him about my blog and let him read my post about him. Yea, that didn’t go to well. We decided to talk about it over drinks; we laid down a lot of things on the table and it gave me some good insight. But there was this nagging feeling that wouldn’t escape me….
We ended the night on a good note and I was pleasantly surprised that the chemistry was still there, quite effortless actually. It was even better watching The Misadventures of An Awkward Black Girl with him….
HE GETS ME….HE SOO GETS ME!
Have you ever had a hug that brought out so much feelings….wanting? Yea, I haven’t either.
We decided to hang out the next day, I was excited ok I won’t lie in 2012. I was excited. That day came and went and after unanswered calls and text messages, I got the message.
I was blind-sided or so he thought. You see, I was quite skeptical, this is not the first time he has pulled a disappearing act on me. Was I disappointed yes, a bit of me still held out hope that we would move on from this and be I don’t know, friends. But he showed me his true self. Life has a funny way of showing you something in case you missed the warning the first time.
He hasn’t changed….