The List!

I want me a man, you know the kind of man… that aint about all of that drama. I want me a man you know the kind of man that I can take home to my daddy mommy…I want me a man, a real kind of man, and if you out there get at me….just be good to me (tell me I’m the one you need boy)…cuz I don’t want to search no more! – Letoya Luckett ‘Good To Me’

Last weekend I watched the movie,  “This Means War featuring Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine, Chelsea Handler and the ohh soo sexy Tom Hardy. I didn’t know what to expect but I definitely enjoyed it. I could relate to Reese Witherspoons character a bit and it had me thinking. (If you are looking for a great date night movie, this is it!)

After talking to my bestie briefly, she asked me a question that I have heard countless times from different friends.

What do you want in a boyfriend, Jennifer?

Sigh. Here we go again.

This song sums it up…this is what I want.

This is something that I have been asking myself countless times though. I’ve heard of so many people creating lists that had a checklist of qualities they wanted or did not want in their next partner...SHOOT even Oprah has one. After thinking, reading, discussing and analyzing I have come to a conclusion.

 I present to you… my list.

He must be:

  1. God-fearing
  2. Intelligent
  3. Adventurous
  4. Honest
  5. Loyal
  6. Respectful
  7. Ambitious
  8. Motivated
  9. Hardworking
  10. Funny
  11. Physically/Sexually Attractive to me
  12. Have a J.O.B
  13. Knows how to dress (cleans up well)
  14. Confident
  15. Family-oriented
  16. Knows how to have fun
  17. Mentally stimulates me
  18. Must have or is working on an advanced degree
  19. Wants to travel and explore
  20. Must be open to trying new things
  21. Must be of good height to me
  22. Must have an eagerness to please
  23. MUST BE MY FRIEND

There are certain things that I have highlighted in bold because those things mean A LOT to me, not saying that the other things aren’t as important but these are qualities that catch my eye attention, at first…just being honest. I don’t think that my list is unrealistic at all but I just don’t think that in our society anyone is looking for something seriously.

Maybe I’m wrong…maybe I am just meeting/attracting the wrong set of guys!

Everything now is about instant gratification. People would rather be intimate with someone than have the responsibility of being accountable to someone. Who wouldn’t like casual sex, whenever you want it, without worrying about the person your sleeping with feelings, ambitions, concerns,etc.?

That my friends is what I have to sift through in this game called love.

Many guys won’t be forthcoming  on their intentions and to be frank, most guys don’t know what they want. They don’t want to be alone (they crave intimacy/sex) but they don’t want to be committed to anyone. Oxymoron, huh?

It’s a constant battle and it does make for some interesting stories and blog posts but to be honest dating gets very OLD. I have an attention span of a 4 year old when it comes to guys. I become rather bored or lose interest rather quickly. It takes a while for me to really like a guy…so when I do actually like one and it doesn’t work out it gets to me. There is nothing like having guys like you, only for the one that you do like to not feel the same way OR shit just doesn’t work.

Sheesh. Can this get anymore interesting?

My friends all swear that I should have a show on VH1 and over time I finally see why. My life couldn’t be anymore interesting; when I think that something else can’t happen, life has a funny way of throwing me a curve ball. When I finally think that I got it down and I’m doing something right...BAM reality strikes!

But I wouldn’t be me if these things did not happen.

What is on your list for your significant other? Do you think writing a list is effective? Why or why not?

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3 thoughts on “The List!

  1. Let a guy know he is appreciated, be grateful for kindness and efforts made, don’t be afraid to show a guy affection and softness, especially if you are not predisposed to doing so. Allow us to be the “man” and don’t engage in emasculating behaviors out of cause. Guys like simple, cater to us just a little, make us feel good, and it will go a loonnnng way.

  2. I agree with having a list of what you want in a mate. When you “see” him, you will immediately “recognize” him. I like your list, but you forgot one key attribute: His personality must complement yours [opposites attract]. That famous movie phrase, “you complete me” (Jerry Maguire) becomes a reality when two people in love have complementary temperaments.

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