Last night I decided to take a trip down memory lane. I usually try to restrict myself from looking back but as I drowned in my thoughts, I couldn’t help but to think how things would’ve been if things played out differently.
Summer of 2010 was amazing. I was heading off to Nice, France to work with a PR firm during the Cannes Film Festival and I was ecstatic. The months leading up to it was filled with excitement, nervousness, frustration and anxiety. I didn’t know what to expect and the thought of going out there by myself was quite intimidating. After months of planning, I was a couple of days away. I couldn’t sleep, I was endlessly dreaming of baguettes, fresh pasta, meeting celebrities, making friends and falling in love.
You know…typical girl stuff.
Would I love my job? Would I make friends? Would I get lost? Would people be mean? Would I have fun? All raced my mind as I boarded the plane. After a series of hugs and well wishes later from my mom, I was on my way to France.
I had an overnight flight and was grateful that I had the whole three seats to myself. I landed in France that following morning and was exhausted. The next day was filled with touring the area while avoiding the torrential rain that was randomly popping up; the weather was very disappointing but I was in France!!
I quickly learned the public transportation there and was ready to go. I had the chance to meet my other co-worker before work started and they were rather friendly but they were nothing like my friends back at home. That night a group of us went out to club VIP and I couldn’t believe how superficial it was to get in. This was beyond the screenings that they do in New York. You seriously had to look a certain way to get in; I wasn’t really feeling that rule but when I walked right in with ease I couldn’t help not to give a hoot. Lol.
Clubbing was a whole new experience there. The mixture of hip-hop and dub-step was relatively new to me but I enjoyed myself and did I mention getting free drinks from super hot guys always helps? Yea, that was the best part. After a night of fun, my first day at the job was coming up, I had to be prepared.
I started the job and days turned into weeks and I was already exhausted. Late night, early mornings were know becoming a habit. Don’t get me wrong, I was enjoying the perks of working for an entertainment pr firm and I was not complaining. From industry events to watching premier screenings of films, I couldn’t be more pleased. But there was one event that changed my whole trip.
One of my new found friends was working with a distribution company and invited me to an event that they were having. I decided to join her and there is where I met him…well actually my friend saw him first. She was swooning over this man- who she hadn’t even seen his face yet- but how could you not see him; standing on the beach, hair flying through the wind, looking sexy from the back, he was hard to miss.
Five minutes went by and after numerous nudging and convincing we walked over to say hi. He was really handsome. I couldn’t help but to stare at his eyes and from that moment on I knew the feelings were mutual. As my friend tried to muster up words to speak, he hardly payed her attention and she knew that he wasn’t into her.
What an awkward position to be in but she was a great sport about it. She left us alone and we had a great conversation. Here I am sipping champagne on the beach with a very attractive French guy, a live band playing in the background and the chatters of the party could be heard miles away. This was surreal. In the midst of it all, Ludacris joined the festivities and I had to cut our rendezvous short. He wasn’t pleased but ummmm…..this is Ludacris!!!
I had the chance to speak and take pictures with Ludacris and his entourage was too fun. His girlfriend was gorgeous and quiet but overall that night was incredible. Countless parties later, I found myself heading back to my hotel room to get ready for work. I can’t believe that I did not sleep that day, well that turned out to be my whole stay in France and I developed some serious bags and was constantly where shades. The life of the fabulous, lol. Industry events, work and parties were my life and I couldn’t have asked for more.
Funny thing was even though I was intrigued at the thought of finding someone in France I didn’t take it seriously or thought it would happen. There were a lot of people hooking up but that was never my thing. I was actually falling for this stranger. We had fun and I didn’t want it to be over. He extended an offer for me to join him in Paris for my last couple of days there and I was not sure what to do.
Should I go and have fun and come back with stories or should I be a loser and stay in the confinement of safety and security and come back home with regret?
My co-workers told me to go and have fun and my friends back at home were reminding me of the movie ‘Taken‘. I didn’t want to be on Nancy Grace but I wanted to go to Paris with him and be adventurous but I had to be smart. I ended up not going and till this day I have always questioned if that was the right thing to do.
We ended up keeping in contact and were continuously planning on either one of us taking a trip to see each other but due to time zone conflicts, my impatience and immaturity, it was over by the time I headed back to Virginia in September.
From time to time I still think about and wonder what he is doing and how are things with him but it just hasn’t been the same since that summer.
I don’t know if he was ever upset with me for cutting things off as I did, and there are times that I was mad with myself about it. He was a great guy and he was really caring and considerate. I remember one time he gave me a mouthful for not staying up and waiting for his calls as I ususally did. I was selfish and didn’t consider that he was also sacrificing time to talk to me as well….if I could turn the clock back I would do everything differently.
Now I know things happen for a reason and I’m glad that I met him when I did. He completed my trip to France and opened me up to a whole new culture that I wouldn’t have enjoyed or appreciated in the states. Maybe one day we would meet again and get to catch up but if not, I’m glad to say that he is ingrained in my memory forever.
Going back down memory lane can be a hard pill to swallow but last night made me realize how lucky I am and the interesting people I have met along the way.