Ahhh yes, those three letters that can rile up so many different emotions at the utterance of hearing it. For some it can leave one excited and aroused while for others, it could leave them anxious, nervous and confused. But when does one incorporate sex into a budding ‘relationship’?
If you have ready Steve Harvey book than you are well versed in the idea of the 90 day rule. That good ole 90 day rule .
So what is this rule?
- It is the time period that allows two people to get to know one another without introducing sex into the relationship. This gives one a clear head on whether or not the person they are dating are worth getting serious with or not.
We all know that sex can sometimes complicate or end a relationship before it even begins. Right? Could introducing sex early in dating be that dangerous? To be quite honest, I would have to agree. Please don’t shoot the messenger.
OK, I understand that not every situation is the same but I have witnessed the difference when sex was delayed and the outcomes 95 % of the time turned out positive. Even if the relationship had somehow dissolved, there was no feeling of guilt or sadness on the women part because sex had not taken place.
Casual sex sounds great and may feel good but when those emotions are no longer casual, what happens?
Personally, I say do what’s best for YOU. If that means not having sex till 90 days or more, go for it. If you feel that after the third date you can’t wait any longer, shoot, go right ahead. However, if you are looking for a fruitful meaningful relationship just make sure the person you are sharing your body with feels the same way and doesn’t mind heading down that path.
Don’t ask ‘what are we doing?’, when your legs are already spread because any answer after that is not going to be a honest one. Just saying.
On the other hand, you could be dating someone for 90 days and within that 90 days there is no growth. If that is the case, keep those legs all the way shut. Remember the 90 days is a probation period to see how if you and that person can get along and move towards something serious. It should also measure your feelings on that person, if your interest, values and personalities in sync.
Here are some sample questions you should be asking yourself as you keep dating your person of interest:
- Can you see yourself truly dating this person?
- Do you want to be around them?
- When all is said and done could you be in a relationship with this person?
- Do they push you to want to do better…be better?
Remember what your focus is on.
Now, you might get a guy who kisses leave nothing to the imagination and sometimes your mind wanders to what he might be like, don’t worry that is perfectly NORMAL. Physical attraction and sexual chemistry are great indicators that something is there BUT they should not be used as defining measures on how your relationship is growing.
I believe that once a mental, emotional and physical connection is established than the sex would be more satisfying. Who wouldn’t enjoy that?
Ladies, I think Steve Harvey has something here and I honestly think that a guy should would wait. Now, there will be some guys who wait and still leave. Yeah, they are assholes who view the 90 days a mission to conquer you…assholes. My advice, I wouldn’t vocalize that you are given X amount of time before you do such and such. Why? Because once you announce that a guy has to do x,y and z he no longer looks at you as someone worth getting to know, rather someone who he’s going to sex and leave.
Don’t be that girl.
Sound off and let me know what you think? Do you believe in the 90 day rule? Why or why not?