Are You the Rehearsal Chick??

Men have Rehearsal Chicks. They aren’t side hoes, they aren’t jump offs; these are girls we meet and treat like our real girlfriends but we never give them the title. They simply practice, a warm up for the Main Chick we’re currently seducing or the Main Chick that we know will come our way.– via Black Girls Are Easy

Absorb it ladies….I know it’s tough.

HMMM…..that was one of the realest things I have read in a while.  A friend fo mine was dating this guy for months and wasn’t sure why they were not in a relationship. He consistently told her that he wasn’t ready for one and that they should just see where things go, (code for I don’t want to be in a relationship….with you) but after a couple of months of being in the grey area, he broke up with her and got in a relationship not too long after  with another girl. 

You could imagine the betrayal and hurt that my friend felt.

I don’t know the full details of that relationship and I can’t speak on his decision, however, I know the feeling of liking someone and wanting things to work but yet it doesn’t occur.  Ughh…….seeing the person you like with someone else after they told you they don’t want to be in a relationship is definitely heartbreaking and embarrassing.

Listen ladies,  you can be used for more things than your vagina. Just because he’s not trying to sleep with you every time he sees you, doesn’t mean he’s not using you.

Jen, that doesn’t make sense though. If he’s not using me for sex than what is it?

He could be using you for an ego stroke, a place to vent/unwind, a place to lay his head and for your great culinary skills. Not every man is that way but if you are the dress rehearsal girl than you are getting the frills of a relationship without getting the important part…the commitment.  As much as people place heavy emphasis on sex, it is not the biggest thing. You can get sex any and everywhere, unfortunately. Because your vagina can snatch condoms off doesn’t mean that a monogamous relationship will ensue…it just means that your vagina can snatch condoms off. LOL.

So how do you know if you are in a Rehearsal stage??

 Last time I checked the first thing a boyfriend does is make you his god damn girlfriend. I can go get a whistle, stop traffic, and tell little kids to cross the street that doesn’t make me a fucking crossing guard. Wake up! You can meet all the family members and homeboys in the world, but unless that man thinks of you as his girlfriend in his head and verbalizes that you are an exclusive couple, you’re just a stepping stone. You love him he’s your baby awww how cute! There is always an opening for a sidechick, if you want the dude that bad go apply.- BGAE

Sigh.

It’s true ladies and even for the gents out there. When someone likes you enough they will verbalize it to you. No coaxing needed. I will consistently hammer the fact that communication is key. When there is open lines of communication partnered with honesty than things ambiguous behavior should be cut down. In a perfect world you’ll have the person that you want…if that was the case I would be married to Channing Tatum and enjoying our honey moon in Spain. Yeah, not happening….yet lol.

Only person who knows what they want is you. If you are tired of being the rehearsal girl, do something about it. It is never too late to get the respect and love you deserve. You may realize that you and that person will no longer be but it’s alright. Save yourself some time and emotions by letting that go and finding someone who wouldn’t hesitate to make him yours.

Meanwhile ask questions and if your questions are being met with silence….than that is your answer. Don’t be a rehearsal girl if you don’t want to be.

 

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