Lessons I Learned in Love

I’m only 23 but I’ve learned a lot….

Some say I’m wiser beyond my years and I must agree… I have been blessed in so many ways that I can’t even explain. If it weren’t for my experiences, disappointments, highs and lows I will be a completely different person. The person that I am now is the makings of all these things wrapped into one. I am constantly growing and constantly seeking for ways to be a better person, friend, daughter…and one day a wife and mother.

Sometimes in life you learn the lessons first…

There were countless moments where I was unable to handle situations that were thrown at me. I was mentally and emotionally immature and let my anger and hurt push people and situations out of my life without even a word.  You couldn’t tell me nothing, I was ALWAYS right and nothing could change that.

How do you console a broken heart? How do you deal with hearing that the person your in love with is love with someone else? Should you ever tell your crush that he should leave the one he’s with for you? When is the right time to express your feelings? How do you deal with the disappointments of a love gone wrong??

Friends, family, books, even slow jams couldn’t give me the answers that I desperately needed. For some experiences I picked myself up and kept it moving, while others were harder than I imagined. At one point, I literally became numb. My heart was hurting and everyone that crossed my path was destined to feel that hurt. I was cold, manipulative, calculating…everything that he was towards me.

When your heart gets broken, you can respect the healing process. You may slip back into self doubt, you may findyourself crying late into the night hoping that things could go back to the way it used to be but life has a funny way of healing you.

So What Did I LEARN?!

  • With everything, the biggest lesson I learned was that I could NOT fix anyone! My love, my time and my energy couldn’t transform someone who didn’t want to be changed. If that person is not willing to change than that is not my stress and that is person is not a good ‘fit’ for me.
  • Loving yourself is the first step to finding someone who will love you. There are days when I look in the mirror and I don’t like what I see but there are other times where I smile and say, “Yes, I’m my mom’s daughter!” There is a fire in my eyes that can’t be quenched; there is a self-reassurance and confidence that has been built over the years that can’t be quelled.
  • Maya Angelou said it best: The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Enough said.
  • Everything that feels good is not always good for you.
  • Always trust your instincts….ALWAYS!
  • Honesty and respect starts with me. If I’m looking for those qualities in a person, they should be able to find those qualities within me. 
  •  I would rather be single than be in a lack luster or toxic relationship.
  •  NOTHING is wrong with being single. These moments have given me a lot of  time to reflect, change behaviors and patterns that were detrimental and allow myself to be the type a person that I would want to date.
  • There is  more to life than having a boyfriend. In high school I had a serious relationship and the same in college. I never knew what it meant to be SINGLE, date, explore, make new friends and live.
  • There will be times where you get lonely; moments where you are seeking companionship and intimacy but it will come, when you’re patient and not looking. TRUST ME! 
  • Not everyone who is interested in you has your best interest in mind. There will be users, there will be people who are looking for an ego stroke, casual sex and so forth. When you take them time out to discover these things and implore your boundaries you save yourself so much time and energy.
  • Trust yourself at all times! When you have gone through several disappointments, you begin to doubt yourself. Why am I finding myself in relationship INSANITY? Why am I picking the same type of guys and expecting different results? Trusting yourself and your decision making skills can be nerving but when you finally reach the point, you’ll feel more assured and safe.
  • A person who truly wants to get to know you will not attempt to do solely via text or email. Don’t get managed by lazy communication.
  • Those who do not add value to your life don not deservea place in it.
  • In doubt with a situation or person, just pray about it. It is a lot better than analyzing, googling, fretting about every DAMN thing. You will save time and energy. I’ve had my share of restless nights…no bueno!

What have you guys learned in love? Anything on here, you can relate too? Have some of your own that you wish to share? Sound off,  I want to hear from you!

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2 thoughts on “Lessons I Learned in Love

  1. Plenty, recently been dumbed, discovered that i couldn’t manage my frustrations from work. Found out that I really wanted to just be appreciated for my femininity and kindness (often i’ll be bullied by others). Therefore i bought a ring to make a promise to myself that i shouldn’t hurt anyone that i love.

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