Can I Be Honest For a Second???

winding road

I’ve taken a hiatus from posting on my blog due to things that have taken place in my personal life. For awhile, it was really hard for me to write down my thoughts and every night I wanted to share everything that was happening to me; at one point I was in a complete state of anxiety. Now that things have slightly calmed down (lol) I will be updating you guys with the new changes in my life.

Firstly, I no longer reside in the U.S., I am now living in England and will be starting my Masters program in the next two weeks.  (YAY!) Everyone was asking if I was nervous and at first I wasn’t; truthfully, I was nonchalant about it all.  I was more focused on getting myself out of the country and dealing with the process of moving, packing and all the technicalities that came with it.  Most of the time if it weren’t for  the comforting words of my boyfriend and the help of my friend and his girlfriend helping me release some of my stress, I would have been an utter nightmare.

A lot of people think that I have gone off to the UK to pursue a relationship with my boyfriend………well they’re sort of right.

Being in a long distance relationship (for those of you who have been in one or thinking of pursuing one) is NOT easy.  There have been moments where Facebook, Skype, Google Chat and all these other social media platforms that keep me connected  were not enough; If I could high tail it on t he next thing smoking, in a heart beat it would have been done. However, reality set in and it was not possible.  Planning a trip to see one another is comforting (when it does happen), yet the stress from being a part for months gets to you.  Here I am in love with someone yet I can’t see him the way that I liked… besides my mom and bestie Nicole, he’s the third person I share EVERYTHING with. Work was stressing me out? He’s the first one to know about it.  Looking for a therapist to help me unwind? Yup, there he was.

How could I see  the beauty in relationships when my significant other was so far away?

Now that I’m here, all the stress that has kept me company for the past several months has died down and I’m enjoying his company.

I’ve always wanted to live and work in the UK way before I even knew who my boo would be. My senior year  of college, I had an in-depth talk with my mentor and he encouraged me to follow my dreams even if it didn’t seem possible.  Countless  conversations with my bestie, even borderline ranting never bothered her or caused her to waiver in here encouragement towards my dream. Despite my circumstances around me telling otherwise, I decided to open up myself and become vulnerable…even if I didn’t get the positive feedback I was looking for. Laying in bed surrounded by thoughts and words in my journal , I decided to take the risk and apply to 5 graduate programs and one fellowship in London.

*Bracing rejection in 5, 4, 3, 2….1*

There were many sleepless nights to be frank.

My situation  around me at the time was daunting. I was not enjoying my work environment, my living situation made me feel even lonelier and the one person that made me feel happy was nowhere to be close.  My ego was standing in the balance, moreso my career goals and I was feeling pressure from all sides. Could I really be successful in this career I have chosen? Will I be able to live and pay my student loans off without compromising my dreams?

The first two rejection letters HURT, I would be lying if I said otherwise.

Fortunately, all things happen to those who trust in the Lord and my prayers and thoughts that were spoken in 2011 and whispered again in 2012 has FINALLY materialised in 2013. I can’t wait to start a new chapter in my life and I’m excited to share it all with you!! So now that I am officially in the UK, all my blog post will give you a taste of my life (good or bad…hopefully ALL GOOD!)

Cheers,

xxx

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